From the sublime to the avant-garde: pipe bands reimagined

Dooagh Pipe Band, winners of Achill Island's 'Best Band on the Island' competition for seven consecutive years, continues to seek new challenges and to break new ground. In an extraordinary general meeting of the committee last night, it was put to the floor that the very concept of a pipe band parade be redefined.

"For too long now, we have been hidebound by the idea that pipe bands should march in neat and tidy rows and columns, and play tunes that use the notes on the chanter, all accompanied by the hum of the drones", said one enthusiast for change. They continued: "I am only highlighting what we have all have seen on the ground. You must have noticed how the band has at times gone without the bagpipes entirely, marching only to the sweet rhythms of the drums. Who amongst us was unmoved as we heard the drums ring out in Keel-West while the pipers marched side by side with, well, each other. But you know what I mean." The speaker raised their voice above a rising hubub: "I say here and now that we should take this concept one step further. Why have pipes and drums at all - I believe we should have a band parading with no sound whatsoever! " [we have double-checked the transcript and can confirm that the phrase "no sound" was used].

There was an almost universal disbelief - not entirely unwarranted in our opinion - that such a proposal even made it to the floor. However, the suggestion did find a supporting voice, albeit one that cautioned against introducing the concept to the wider public without first running some small-scale trials. As a result, we suspect that the Dooagh Pipe Band may be the first marching pipe band to intentionally parade without a bass drum. The results should be interesting, to say the least. The bass drum [Editor note: why isn't it spelled 'base', would make more sense] is the key component in the organisation of the march. There is a school of thought that the bass drum should be the last of the audible instruments to be dropped, but we believe that the Dooagh Pipe Band is considering the radical approach of dropping the bass first, in order to move to a more modern freeform expression of the marching band. Without the bass drum to corral band members into strictly organised musical rhythms and notation, performers will be free to give each piece their own personal interpretation. While this does play into the modern world's desire for freedom of expression without consequences, we think the result could be challenging for the listener.

"This is why we need to play the pipes and drums silently," the speaker exclaimed. "I accept my esteemed colleague's proposal to try without the bass drum first, but please remember that this is but the first step on the path to a new and enlightened approach to pipe band performance." Struggling to make themselves heard over a rising tide of dissenting voices, our speaker also observed that a real-life version of the mute function for Zoom calls would be handy at times.

Dooagh Pipe Band Chairman, David McNamara, was sanguine in his acceptance of opposing views amongst colleagues. "I am comfortable with the idea that we should be open to new ways of doing old things, and I will observe the outcome with interest."

We felt it worth following up with the original proposer who, warming to their subject, had this to say: "After all, initiatives like silent discos have become increasingly popular in recent times, so why not see if the concept will transfer to pipe bands. I do accept that this move could impact on our fundraising efforts, as the public won't be able to hear the band approach, so perhaps a vanguard of cars beeping their horns would be a good way of attracting attention. Actually, I'm increasingly of the opinion that we should turn the entire concept of the marching band on its head. A typical parade leads with the pipe band, and is followed by supporters on foot or by car. This interpretation would have the supporters play a leading role in the parade. Supporters by car would beep the car horns to attract the public, followed by supporters on foot to wave and shout to the crowd, in turn followed by the band members silently playing their instruments. This would be performance art at its finest!"

We suspect that the text on the label for the performance-enhancing substances may be too small for some users to follow instructions accurately.